BRIDESHEAD CROSSOVER (SO HARD)




Evelyn is at home at Piers Court and the second volume of his war memoirs, Officers and Gentlemen, is about to come out. He's being interviewed by Tim Raisin when suddenly Waugh starts reminiscing about Oxford.

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"OXFORD, OXFORD, OXFORD, OXFORD, OXFORD, OXFORD, OXFORD, OXFORD, OXFORD, OXFORD, OXFORD, OXFORD, OXFORD, OXFORD, OXFORD, OXFORD…"

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© 2019, The Art of Pants

Raisin is knocked arse over tip. Did we even see what happened there? Evelyn made reference to his God-given time at Oxford. God-given. Time…

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Smell that lavender hair oil! Evelyn strikes a match against the side of a matchbox. He no sooner re-lights his cigar than with a swing of his arm he puts out the match. He is like a great blazing bush of lavender. And then, blow me down, he does it again:

"BRIDESHEAD, BRIDESHEAD, BRIDESHEAD, BRIDESHEAD, BRIDESHEAD, BRIDESHEAD, BRIDESHEAD, BRIDESHEAD, BRIDESHEAD, BRIDESHEAD, BRIDESHEAD…"

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Having overexerted himself somewhat, Evelyn sits down. And no matter what Tim Raisin says thereafter he can't get Evelyn back on the topics of either Oxford or Brideshead. All he can elicit is this beatific look.

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Raisin notices that his trousers are in a right old state, and that the smell of lavender, heavy though it is, can't compete with another, altogether
earthier stink emanating from himself.

He beats a hasty retreat. Having proved himself to be neither officer nor gentleman.